Fights

SheilaRuth | 2008-02-11 00:45

Hi everyone,

It seems like we've had a lot of fights recently, and I just wanted to say a little bit about fights. I think that it's perfectly normal for there to be fights in any community. Whenever you have a gathering of people, there will always be some who don't get along, and others who do get along but for whatever reason get mad at each other. All I ask is that if you do have a fight with someone, you keep in mind a few rules:

1. Please keep it civil. If you don't like someone, fine. If someone rubs you the wrong way, fine. If you're angry at someone, fine. But NO name calling, NO gossip about people behind their backs (especially in open chat where they might see it later in the recent room history) and definitely NO cursing.

2. If at all possible, please try to resolve fights privately in Private Messages and Private Chat. If there are two or even a small group of people who are having a fight, there's no need to involve all 200 members of the community by posting a forum topic. It just makes the people who aren't involved in the fight depressed, and can be insulting to those that are involved.

3. Treat people the way you would want to be treated. When I was a kid they called it the golden rule, and it's still a rule I try to live by.

4. I know that some of you try to help out when there are fights. Just be careful about this - sometimes trying to help can draw you in and get you involved in the fight instead of resolving it.

5. If someone is being unpleasant in the chat room, the best thing to do is just to leave the chat room or go to a different chat room.

Thanks, everyone, for helping to build such a great community!

Sheila

Copperrose | 2008-02-11 00:51 | YESH! well said sheila! I

YESH! well said sheila! I have noticed too many fights lately too. Lets's try to polite to each other please? I'm tired of this! I love all you guys!

Thanks Rabbit!
"What in tarnation, is that celery?!"
-Ian of Smosh

Forestkit | 2008-02-11 00:53 | Fire alone can save our

Fire alone can save our Clan...

*claps* Yes yes, well said! I wish fights wouldn't happen, but sometimes I guess we can't help it. :P

~Forestpelt~

Sin | 2008-02-11 01:08 | Yeah! But the thing that is

Yeah! But the thing that is really confusing me is that there was like, no fight when we had the author chat pre-chat, and that was so many people there was bound to be a fight. So maybe if people just acted like they did at the erin hunter chat (if they were at it) we wouldn't have so many fights... or we can just follow sheila's avice. I vote following sheila's advice.

KC | 2008-02-11 01:10 | Thank you Sheila! Most of

Thank you Sheila! Most of what you said is like half of what I've been trying to tell people. THANK YOU!!! I am forever grateful. ^_^

♥-Kitten-Chan

Rubykit | 2008-02-11 01:37 | Thank you Sheila!!! We need

Thank you Sheila!!! We need to chill with the fighting. I've been in the chat room for the past few days and there has been a lot of fighting going on and it was like, only a couple people and everyone else in the chatroom had to just watch and feel miserable.
Yes, kitten, I have noticed how you've been trying to get that point across.

The Loyal Warrior of WindClan

Ashtail | 2008-02-11 09:31 | Thank you, Shelia! It's

Thank you, Shelia!
It's outrageous with the fighting(grudges, plain rudeness, or something like that).

Rosepetal | 2008-02-11 09:34 | Paul Bunyan got into a

Paul Bunyan got into a fight one time!!!!!
"Sweet Niblets!"-Hannah Montana

<

SheilaRuth | 2008-02-11 10:49 | Wolf, the author "pre-chat"

Wolf, the author "pre-chat" was unusual because everyone was excited and because there was a common cause - Erin Hunter. So I think there was a lot of good will that day which kept people from fighting. People do get angry about things, and that's perfectly normal in real life as it is here. What's important is how we deal with the anger. We can go around yelling at everyone and blasting everyone in the chat rooms and the forums and calling each other names. Or, we can communicate and work it out.

A lot of the fights I see are a result of someone getting angry because they misunderstood something. If someone makes you angry, instead of calling them names, try saying, "I'm angry because..." and explain why you're angry. You may find that the other person didn't mean it the way you took it. Or you may find that they don't realize that what they did upset you. But if you don't communicate, you can't work it out.

It's important to start with "I'm angry because..." because we call that an "I" message. "I" messages are less threatening than "You" messages. In other words, if you say, "You wouldn't let me join the RP," that puts the person on the defensive and then they feel they have to defend themselves. If you say instead, "I'm angry because I felt left out of the RP," then they are given the opportunity to understand your feelings and to solve the problem instead of having to defend themselves.

Does that make sense?

Sheila Ruth

Thanks to Forestpelt for my avatar!

Johnny Knoxville | 2008-02-11 12:05 | Umm

Umm Rule 3. . . . I don't know how I would want to be treated because the friends that live around me cuss at me and all that and I think that is always the way I have ben treated and I don't think I mind.

I have a Soliders touch. Just ask any of the ladies.

SheilaRuth | 2008-02-11 13:01 | Yikes, Jinxy. I feel so bad

Yikes, Jinxy. I feel so bad for you. No one should be treated that way!

Sheila Ruth

Thanks to Forestpelt for my avatar!

crescentmoon | 2008-02-11 15:35 | Sheila, you're so good. Some

Sheila, you're so good.

Some people cuss as part of their everyday language & in that case, cussing at you isn't hostile. Is that what you mean, Jinxy?

Crescentmoon or Claw Moon when I'm grumpy.

"Do I look like an out-of-bounds sort of guy?"
Capt. Jack Harkness, Dr. Who

Jaypaw X the Stick of Wonder!!

Rabbitfoot on S... | 2008-02-11 17:12 | Well said *claps* I think

Well said *claps* I think I'm pretty peaceful...right? *bites nails* I try to be... sorry if I've said anything that's upset people though ^^

Danny Phantom...is a oval-shaped BLOB? Works for me ^^

Quailkit | 2008-02-11 19:07 | Yayerz! :3 *claps*

Yayerz! :3 *claps*

KC | 2008-02-11 19:13 | Yesh Rabbit, you is a

Yesh Rabbit, you is a peacemaker...

Still...thank you for posting this Sheila-san! THANK YOU!!! lol

♥-Kitten-Chan

SheilaRuth | 2008-02-11 19:20 | Do itashi mashite Sheila

Do itashi mashite

Sheila Ruth

Thanks to Forestpelt for my avatar!

Johnny Knoxville | 2008-02-11 19:24 | uh

ah . . . Don't fell sorry for me . . . I take it as it comes.

I have a Soliders touch. Just ask any of the ladies.

SheilaRuth | 2008-02-11 20:38 | OK, I won't then. Sheila

OK, I won't then.

Sheila Ruth

Thanks to Forestpelt for my avatar!

Silent | 2008-02-11 20:56 | hug

There will be three, kin of your kin
*hugs everyone fhrigkhreghfwreknhgiwrngkbwrawlghiregjkeahgrejhgethgauigtjreskgu;ktge tight*
Who hold the power of the stars in their paws.

Greyeyes | 2008-02-11 21:32 | ....

I'm not the one who..brought this up, right?? Well I guess it's a good subject! Thanks Shiela!

Love,
Greyeyes

Copperrose | 2008-02-12 01:10 | i try to keep the peace. has

i try to keep the peace. has anyone ever read Romeo and Juliet?? Well, i try my best to be Bevolio, the peacemaker!

Thanks Rabbit!
"What in tarnation, is that celery?!"
-Ian of Smosh

Johnny Knoxville | 2008-02-14 11:19 | AH God

No I haven't ever read Romeo and Juliet and I don't really plan on it . . .

LOL Don't hug me!!! LOL (No seriously don't, I . . . Don't . . . Do . . . Hugs . . . )

I have a Soliders touch. Just ask any of the ladies.

OMGkit | 2008-02-14 12:27 | niether...do...I....:P -Fru

niether...do...I....:P

A couple
Haley Siggie
-Fruitster

SheilaRuth | 2008-02-14 12:38 | LOL, Jinxy and Fruity. You

LOL, Jinxy and Fruity. You guys crack me up.

Sheila Ruth

Thanks to Forestpelt for my avatar!

Johnny Knoxville | 2008-02-14 12:52 | Ya

Ya, we had that feelin'!!! LMFAO!!!

I have a Soliders touch. Just ask any of the ladies.

OMGkit | 2008-02-14 13:10 | we....did.....or....did....we

we....did.....or....did....we???????LMAO

A couple
Haley Siggie
-Fruitster

Johnny Knoxville | 2008-02-14 13:20 | LOL

I did!!! LMFAO!!!

I have a Soliders touch. Just ask any of the ladies.

OMGkit | 2008-02-14 13:29 | i thinkkkkk i did

i thinkkkkk i did ?!?!O___o

A couple
Haley Siggie
-Fruitster

crescentmoon | 2008-02-14 15:25 | What's so bad about

What's so bad about hugs?

Crescentmoon, techno-weenie

"Do I look like an out-of-bounds sort of guy?"
Capt. Jack Harkness, Dr. Who

Jaypaw X the Stick of Wonder!!

RabbitFur | 2008-02-14 18:03 | i dont try to fight and i

i dont try to fight and i only fought once here with rabbitfoot and thats because i was exploding with anger cuz two idiots at my school triped me down the starirs just to see what it would look like i broke my leg and just got home from the hospitl and got my cast on and i was ready to explode i did but i didnt mean to be angry but even i have a temper.

Johnny Knoxville | 2008-02-15 14:12 | Ah

Well you did get p***ed at me too that day! I don't do hugs because I like guns more!! LOL

I have a Soliders touch. Just ask any of the ladies.

Johnny Knoxville | 2008-02-19 14:04 | ah

Well i don't really care for fights unless they're fist fights BUT I can be dragged into one pretty easily . . . So I don't think you'll be seeing to much of me unless I am helpin' a friend that is in a fight.

I have a Soliders touch. Just ask any of the ladies.