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Poem: For Crescent, from Skywing
I thought it would get a LITTLE bit more attention here, and I didn't mind if no one but Crescent read it; I just want to get this to her and I kinda need poem advice. I deleted the blog.
----
I wrote this just for Crescentmoon, A friend of all of us here.
(written 2/5/10)
The Crescent Moon shines it's light
And I no longer feel the strain
Of this world
Or of lifes pain
As it helps
My heart fills of delight
As she helps me
In this joy-deprived night
As I walk
As I cry
As I scream in pain
I hear her whisper my name
Her soothing, soft voice
Flies away in the wind
And this is where
All of the insanity begins
My eyesight blurrs as I watch her fade away
Leaving to make room for the arrival of day
I guess I can deal with the pain for a little bit longer,
as for when she arrives again tonight,
I will arrive the next day even stronger.
No harsh criticism, but any NICE constructive ones will be needed. ;D
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Yeah, sky, it seems it's easy
Yeah, sky, it seems it's easy for a blog to disappear into oblivion faster than a forum. When I care about getting more discussion, I do a forum whatever the topic. Blogs get lost.
Thanks again for the poem. I'm too close to it to critique it. It makes me feel good,though.
Crescentmoon, techno-weenie
Jayfeather X the Stick of Wonder!!
Some days are diamonds;some days are stones - J.Denver
BOOK STATUS: Reading SD & BP (still)
That's such a nice poem ^^
That's such a nice poem ^^
Call an optimist, she's turning blue -
such a lovely color for you... ♥
Beautiful poem, Skywing! I
Beautiful poem, Skywing! I like this verse:
As I walk
As I cry
As I scream in pain
I hear her whisper my name
It has a nice rhythm to it.
Sheila
"Many things are possible just as long as you don't know they're impossible."
--The Phantom Tollbooth, by Norton Juster
And, the scene is set past
And, the scene is set past midnight, so, tonight.. midnight.. same day.. xP
Didn't Coal just write a poem
Didn't Coal just write a poem for Crescentmoon?
It's nice :) I like this part -
"Her soothing, soft voice
Flies away in the wind
And this is where
All of the insanity begins"
Yeah.
Yeah.
Cmoon seemed kind of
Cmoon seemed kind of depressed lately with the winter weather and all, so we all just wanted to let her know how much she means to us.
Sheila
"Many things are possible just as long as you don't know they're impossible."
--The Phantom Tollbooth, by Norton Juster
and crescentmoon hugs them
and crescentmoon hugs them both for their poems - & everyone else for caring. *smiles*
The sun is out today but it's COLD! I do, however, feel I can't whine too much this week since I'm not in the mid-Atlantic states (where I'd probably still be catatonic).
I'm just obsessively thinking of tulips & flowering trees. They're only about 6 weeks away.
Crescentmoon, techno-weenie
Jayfeather X the Stick of Wonder!!
Some days are diamonds;some days are stones - J.Denver
BOOK STATUS: Reading SD & BP (still)
Summer...it seems like a
Summer...it seems like a distant memory. *smile*
"Many things are possible just as long as you don't know they're impossible."
--The Phantom Tollbooth, by Norton Juster
Maybe if the memory was more
Maybe if the memory was more distant it wouldn't hurt so much. Ice tea, frozen lemonade, malts - why are they all food? Maybe because to think of warm sand beaches & soft breezes in the trees is to think of things I won't have in the summer, either. The breeze is rarely soft here anymore.
Crescentmoon, techno-weenie
Jayfeather X the Stick of Wonder!!
Some days are diamonds;some days are stones - J.Denver
BOOK STATUS: Reading SD & BP (still)
And yeah, I guess it doesn't
And yeah, I guess it doesn't look very summery there now regardless of how good your imagination is.
Crescentmoon, techno-weenie
Jayfeather X the Stick of Wonder!!
Some days are diamonds;some days are stones - J.Denver
BOOK STATUS: Reading SD & BP (still)